Sunday, December 25, 2016

Review: Teen Titans Go! "40% 40% 20%"

You know, there really wasn't much to actually talk about for this episode, since all the best bits were the music video-esque portions. But I hope to demonstrate that there is some merit to the rest of the episode, as well.

Recap: Teen Titans Go! "40% 40% 20%"

It's Christmas Day at the NewtCave.

And my attempt to deck the halls seems to have gone awry....
This year, I started my look at Teen Titans Go!, which has as of yet been... well, disappointing.

The first few episodes of Teen Titans Go! are visibly struggling to find the show's tone, style, and boundaries. As such, numerous episodes aren't bad enough to be "bad", but not good enough to be "good."

To use a Christmas metaphor, the first few episodes can't really be put on either the nice or naughty list.

Since ripping Teen Titans Go! a new one can be practically a sport in some corners of the internet, I've decided to give the show a Christmas present in the form of a favorable review.

But I don't hand out favorable reviews like candy. Rest assured, Teen Titans Go! earned this from me with, quite simply, the best episode of Teen Titans Go! as of this date.

This is the one that quite a few TTG fans say is their favorite, and many of the show's detractors agree that this episode is exempt from the "Teen Titans Go! is crap" rule.

So Merry Christmas, Teen Titans Go!

But, uh... just so we're clear, show? This doesn't undo the existence of "Hot Garbage," "The Return of Slade," or "Parasite."

Friday, December 23, 2016

Recap: "Batman Returns" Part 3: The Penguin

If it seems like not much has happened yet, well, that’s just because this movie’s paced so weirdly. I didn’t even notice it until I started watching it for this Recap.

But don’t worry. All the plot will soon happen at once.

Which… might be a mixed blessing, in terms of pacing.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Recap: "Batman Returns" Part 2: The Cat

So, hopefully, Batman shows up to do more in this segment. I mean, you’d think so. His name is in the title. Unless this is one of those Waiting for Godot things….

Maybe it’s called Batman Returns to reassure us that Batman will show back up after the first half hour.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Recap: "Batman Returns" Part 1: The Bat

Tim Burton, Christmas… I mean, The Nightmare Before Christmas showed that these two things go together like chocolate and peanut butter!

Then again, Henry Selick was responsible for a lot of that movie. Tim Burton’s got his fingers all up in this pie.

So what will it be, Burton?

A faithful, if stylized, adaptation of the source material?

Or a bizarre mishmash that can’t decide on its tone?

Really, I just want to know if this is going to be an Alice in Wonderland or… well, a Batman.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Recap:" Batman Returns" Intro

Strictly speaking, Batman Returns is the second of four films. But in many ways, it's as much the second of four parts as it is an ending to a duology, and even a film unto itself. Opinions are sharply divided on its quality, but there is one thing every single person can agree on.

This is the most Burtonest Batman film ever made.

So before I Recap it, I'm going to examine exactly what happened to this movie to make it what it is.

I mean apart from Tim Burton spewing the twistedly whimsical visions of his mind all over the screen.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Small Delay

Due to reasons of dentist appointments, Saturday's post has been postponed until 2017.

Next week's posts have been pushed back a day.

Holiday posts will be up as scheduled.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Recap: Batman (1943) "The Electrical Brain"

At long last, I can finally truly begin my look at Batman's film history. And also celebrate 250,000 views on my blog. About 23,000 views late, but who's counting?

"But... you have begun. Remember? You started with the 1966 Batman movie?"
Well, yes, I did. That was the first stand-alone Batman film. Which, depending on your definition, isn't even "stand-alone," since it tied in to the TV show.

But this is something entirely different, which many people don't even know about.

The 1943 Batman film serial.

"Good Lord, you found it...."
Yeah, it was surprisingly hard, too. Amazon was out of stock, Netflix had it permanently listed as a "long wait" DVD, and it took me a lot of searching to track down a copy through my local library. And even then, I had to wait a while for it to show up. And even then, I could only keep it for a day, meaning that I had to order it multiple times, delaying this post for a month or two.

And let's not get into the fact that a sudden snowstorm snowed me in away from my computer for a few days, preventing me from posting this yesterday as I'd originally planned. I swear, this thing is cursed or something.

"What's cursed?"
Um... why are there two of you?

"Oh, there's more of us than that. The Multiverse, you understand."
Ah, I see.

"Wait, he's not watching what I think he's watching, is he?"
"I'm afraid so, old chums."
"I thought we tracked down every copy of that!"
"Looks like we missed one."
I wondered why all but one copy listed was "unavailable."

But... "tracked down every copy"? Why? Is it that bad?

"No... and yes."
"And... yes and no."
"Let's just say that this wasn't Batman's finest hour."
Oh. Well... I promise I'll be fair. I mean, I understand that this was the first time Batman was ever adapted. There's surely bound to be a few hiccups here and there.

"Just... know that we're sorry. We're so very sorry."
Um... okay? Can I get started already?

"We won't keep you."
Alright, then.

Let's take a look at the very first big-screen Batman adaptation and see exactly why the world has apparently forgotten about it.

This can only go well.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Snowed In... Away From Home

The weather has not been cooperating lately. Rest assured, I'll be home soon, and the long-awaited milestone post will be up by tomorrow. Starting to think the post might be cursed.....

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Review: Teen Titans Go! "Laundry Day"

I'll have y'all know that it was very difficult to keep myself from making a "Dick Grayson" joke, what with Robin running around naked throughout this episode.

...Though I guess this technically still counts. Dang it.

Recap: Teen Titans Go! "Laundry Day"

Today, Teen Titans Go! continues with a menace that we all face... running out of clothes.

And surprisingly, jokes about turning your underwear inside out will be nowhere to be found.

Teen Titans Go! Review will be up ASAP.

Inclement weather.

Slow internet.

Typing on phone using data.


Monday, December 5, 2016

Review: Avengers Assemble "Back to the Learning Hall"

They say the devil is in the details, and I wholeheartedly agree. As my old band director likes to say, a booger on the Mona Lisa completely ruins it. Now, depending on the details, sometimes the piece itself is enough to overcome its own flaws. Perhaps the flaws can even add to the charm in some cases.

But with this episode, the opposite is sort of true.

First and foremost, I like this show. Sure, it can be frustrating, and I’ll admit I prefer Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, but every once in a while this show proves that it’s capable of providing exciting action scenes, funny one-liners, and even a clever plot or two.

What usually bogs the show down are the details.

Character development that gets ignored in the next episode (over and over), padding (usually in the form of fight scenes), and plots that depend on somebody involved suddenly becoming an idiot.
Such lackluster details in an episode are like poking tiny holes in a ship. The more there are, the more they drag it down.

But this episode delivers what could be considered another generic Thor vs. Loki’s minions plot that is actually buoyed up by the details.

Allow me to elaborate.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "Back to the Learning Hall"

Well, it’s time for Avengers Assemble to finish up the Avengers’ quest to track down the Infinity Stones. And as with all of them but the Time Stone, it will simply drop into their lap after foiling a villain’s scheme, rendering all of Falcon and Iron Man’s work with tracking algorithms entirely pointless.

Except for finding the Time Stone. No scheme there, just Tony Stark nearly rewinding reality simply because he wanted to show off and have the Time Stone materialize above his hand.

But I think we all know what Tony would say about that. “Worth it.”

Saturday, December 3, 2016

View Log: Doctor Strange

I almost didn't get to see this movie.

It's getting to be that time of year when theatres don't expect people to actually see movies, and I only managed to find a single showing at a single theatre, just because I waited until other family members were available to go with me.

If I had wanted to see Moana, that would have been no problem, since at least two theatres around be have decided to show that exclusively for a while.

No, really. Your choices are Moana or Moana in 3D. And a single showing of A Christmas Story.

But luckily, I managed to see it and I must say that HOLY CRAP THIS IS A GORGEOUS FILM

Spoiler-Free Review
While one could be forgiven for thinking that the movie was going to look like a blend between Thor and Inception, the film has a visual style that expands upon both of those influences while staying true to the psychedelic mindscapes featured in the original Steve Ditko comics.

While yet another origin story might be wearing thin with some audience members at this point, the film has enough in the way of acting talent, character development, clever writing, and amazing visuals to please most viewers.

Though I imagine this movie might not hold up as well on DVD and Blu-Ray, since the visual are meant to be seen on the big screen.

I honestly don't know if the movie is still playing, but if it is, and you haven't seen it, go. Go now. Go watch. Right now.

As for specifics, spoilers ahead!

Friday, December 2, 2016

December, 2016 Announcements

I know things have been hectic around here for... oh, since September.

And I thank you so much for putting up with me as I struggle to get things out within a reasonable schedule.  I'd rather postpone something than release something incomplete right on schedule.

Luckily, I've been working hard to get things up for December.

My only regret for this month is that I'm a slave to when the DVDs come. If I order a DVD in September and it comes in October, but I have to return it after a day, then I have to do what I can, return it, and order it again. Then repeat the process. This is why I've been unable to add more Spectacular Spider-Man to this year's schedule, as an avid reader has requested.

(You haven't been ignored, don't worry.)

And this is also why the post celebrating 250,000 views is late.

But guess what? As you read this, I'm finishing it up. Along with that, you can expect my thoughts on the latest MCU film this Saturday, followed by another Avengers Assemble Recap on Monday.

And along with that, I can guarantee a few unexpected reviews as a bit of a present for you all, alongside a look at Tim Burton's second Batman film.

So Happy Holidays to all! See you soon for my thoughts on Mister Strange!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Review: Avengers Assemble "The Dark Avengers"

So… yeah, the Dark Avengers don’t actually show up in this episode, nor are the alternate Avengers referred to by that title. But don’t worry, a team of villain pretending to be heroes will actually show up when Avengers Assemble adapts the Thunderbolts!
Poorly adapts the Thunderbolts, but still.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "The Dark Avengers"

Today, Avengers Assemble continues the proud Marvel Animated Universe tradition of using the names of stories from the comics without actually adapting the plot of said story.

"Planet Hulk" Parts 1 & 2
 And more.

And out of all of those, I would only really call one of them "good."

So I'm hoping this episode can beat the odds.

But Avengers Assemble is past due for a solid episode, so this is going to be it, right? An in-name-only adaptation that features a stock sci-fi plot is going to be the episode that gets Avengers Assemble out of its funk?


Sunday, November 27, 2016

Review: Batman (1989)

Many people think that a Batman movie can either be dark or campy, with no middle ground.

Batman and Robin or The Dark Knight.

Batman: The Movie or Batman v Superman.

But I think Batman shows that it is possible to be both dark and campy. And personally, I’ve always felt that superhero adaptations usually should at least address the fact that their concepts are often goofy.

Just have fun with it is all I’m saying.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Recap: Batman (1989) Part 3: Pagliacci

You know, it’s easy to forget, but at this point in the movie, we don’t know why Bruce Wayne is Batman. Strictly speaking, the film technically didn’t even reveal that the two are one and the same yet. Sure, we’ve seen both Batman and Bruce Wayne in the BatCave, but perhaps Bruce Wayne is funding the Dark Knight’s escapades through his corporation? Some kind of “Batman Incorporated,” if you will.

Or maybe Bruce Wayne just lives in Batman’s attic.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Recap: Batman (1989) Part 2: Harlequin, Columbine, Clown

One of the unspoken rules of Batman's mythos is that the Joker doesn't have an origin. The '66 Batman show briefly alluded to his life before villainy, The Dark Knight makes his lack of a backstory a plot point, and even Alan Moore's The Killing Joke- a story about the Joker's origin- has the Joker throw doubt over the flashbacks by saying he doesn't always remember his origin the same way.

But we just had a good solid third of the movie detail the clown prince's origin... and the things people mostly take issue with have yet to appear in the movie.

You never can predict what fans will gripe about.
I keep complaining about cartoon characters playing chess incorrectly, myself.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Recap: Batman (1989) Part 1: Jack-a-napes

Fun Fact: This film was originally released fifty years after Batman was created, much like how this year marked the 50th anniversary of Adam West's Batman.

It's almost like I arranged this on purpose! ...But I didn't.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Recap: Batman (1989) Intro

This year, I’m giving thanks for Tim Burton’s 1989 film Batman.

By this point in history, reboots are quickly becoming the norm, rather than the exception. Ben Affleck’s Batman hit theatres earlier this year with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, rebooting character following the successful Dark Knight Saga, following the less-successful Schumacher era which softly rebooted the Tim Burton era, which in turn was a reboot of the Adam West version of the character, which was in turn based on comics that were rebooted into campy farce from Bob Kane’s original vision of a dark avenger hunting gangsters.

Heck, with how short people’s attention spans are these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t make it through that entire wall of text before moving on.

The point is that Batman is continually reinvented every so often. But not in the usual way. Most characters are reinvented by figuring out what they mean to a modern audience and working that angle.

A great example of this would be when Batman knock-off Green Arrow grew a beard in the 70s and became a hard-left liberal who teamed up with the more conservative Green Lantern, illustrating the idea that both sides, though they disagreed, could still work together for a common future.

Batman, on the other hand, is an oddity, as he seems to be constantly reinvented based on what he used to be.

Just to use the character’s animation history as an example, he started off in Batman: The Animated Series largely based on his ‘89 film incarnation, with a little bit of the 40s thrown in. The Batman went the other way, creating a sleek, modern, marketable version of the character and his enemies, taking many liberties with the source material in the process. Then after that, Batman went as far opposite of modern as he could, with the deliberate throwback to the 1960s that was Batman: The Brave and The Bold.

And the films are no different.

But before I can talk about how Tim Burton’s Batman defined itself as the opposite of Adam West’s Batman, I need to talk about Stan Lee.

No, really.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Post delayed to tomorrow

I'm not happy with the frequency with which I've been having to delay my posts, but a minor cat emergency has forced me to push my Thanksgiving week posts each back one day.


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Review: Avengers Assemble "Head to Head"

Hey, I bet you can't tell I started writing the Recap for this episode when the Pokemon Go craze was at its height. But I did refrain from any overt Trump/Hillary jokes, which, if anything, would date this even more severely.


No, you know what? It's my last chance to use this picture, so I'm gonna do it.

No regrets.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "Head to Head"

It's good to be back in the swing of things here at the NewtCave. Sure, it was fun to look at Goosebumps for a month, but I'm sure you're all itching for me to tackle my usual fare. And the long-awaited celebratory Recap commemorating 250,000 views, no doubt.

Well, because of an issue or two with the latter, I've written this Recap well in advance to free up time in November, though I doubt that should be too noticeable.

Anyway, it's time for a mindswap episode, coming right after a de-age-ing episode.

And I'm sure that the next episode we'll have something like... I don't know, some kind of evil parallel universe, or some equally stock of a plot.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Post delayed to Wednesday

It has been SUPER hectic around here. Nothing bad, no emergencies, just very busy cleaning up after the art show. Seven months of prep for fifty bucks. That's the art world in a nutshell, I guess.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Site News: November Announcements


I haven't done that many posts in a single month in a long time. And as luck would have it, this is about when everything's starting to pick up in my non-blog-related life.

I've got a commission or two to work on, I've got an art show to finish up some paintings for... things are getting a little hectic.

So I'm taking next week off, though I've been working on an Avengers Assemble review for the 14th. And sometime this month, you can expect a film review, a review of Ultimate Spider-Man Season 1, and perhaps even the long-awaited Recap/Review celebrating 250,000 views. It gave me problems tracking it down, but things have been progressing swimmingly.

Oh, and before I forget, there's a Kickstarter for the 20th anniversary of Shadowflame, an independent comic that you might remember from a cameo in The Mighty Titan, one of the few actual comic book reviews on this site. You should at least check it out if you have the time.

Next time I see you, we'll have decided on a new president. I encourage you to vote, even if you dislike both candidates, because every vote that isn't cast might as well go to the candidate you hate.

The Unshaved Mouse has a great post on why voting in this election is important here, and he even goes into detail about a better system than "whoever gets the most votes wins." It's pretty interesting, at the very least.

Who am I voting for, you ask?

Well... I'm not. Apparently, when I registered to vote last election... I don't know, there was some kind of SNAFU, I think it had something to do with the sketchy registration process at my college, and the point is that I can't vote this year because we didn't discover the issue early enough.

But at the very least, I can endorse a candidate.

I always wondered why America would vote for an outright super villain.
The current election suddenly made this plot less ridiculous.
The NewtCave officially endorses a famous businessman with a more-than-vaguely-racist approach to illegal aliens. Not only that, but this candidate has been investigated by the government for alleged crimes involving private technology. A vote for Lex Luthor is like voting for Trump and Clinton! Now you don't have to choose!

Anyway, see you the 14th for the second mass-mind-swap I'll have covered this year!

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "Attack of the Mutant"

As much as this two-parter basks in some of the usual Goosebumps clich├ęs, it definitely has a different tone than usual. Sure, there’s a monster of sorts, and a twist ending, and so on and so forth, but tis definitely harkens back to R.L. Stine’s earlier career as a humor writer under the name of “Jovial Bob Stine.”

No, really. Jovial.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Recap: Goosebumps "Attack of the Mutant Part II"

When we last saw our hero...

A mysterious building... straight out of a comic?
A comic... containing a real life building?
Comic drawings of our hero inside said building?
But wait! The wildest is yet to come!

Monday, October 31, 2016

Recap: Goosebumps "Attack of the Mutant Part I"

Happy Halloween!

Today, in a story adapted from one of my favorite Goosebumps books growing up, Goosebumps crosses over with the NewtCave's usual bread and butter, the world of superheroics!

Of course, this was made in the 90s, so the superheroics of the time consisted of the Clone Saga, Steel, and Batman and Robin

Man, the 90s had some of the suckiest pop culture.

And hopefully, this two-parter won't just be another example of that.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "One Day at Horrorland"

The vast majority of the time, I divide these Reviews into relevant sections focusing on the plot, the themes, the characters, et cetera. The exceptions to this layout occurred mostly during the earlier days of this blog, when I didn’t have formatting figured out, but I still occasionally branch out from this structure.

And this two-parter defies my usual structure, since in talking about any aspect of it, I have to discuss another aspect of it. It’s like a gigantic Gordian Knot of what-the-heck.

Recap: Goosebumps "One Day at Horrorland Part II"

Okay, so. The Morrises found themselves in a theme park run by monsters where the rides are deadly. Once they started trying to escape, they also started being chased by the monsters running the place.

And now for something completely different.

The plot isn't just going to go off the rails, it found new rails going in the other direction.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Recap: Goosebumps "One Day at Horrorland Part I"

There are certain Goosebumps tales that are simply iconic.

And yes, "One Day at Horrorland."

These books are the ones that permeated pop culture, regardless of whichever one you might say is your favorite. I always liked "How I Learned to Fly" myself, though I know that one certainly isn't representative of the series as a whole, being more of a fantasy short story than anything else.

But Slappy the Dummy is the Goosebumps monster.

The Haunted Mask is the Goosebumps artifact.

And Horrorland is the Goosebumps location.

Naturally, each of these stories were adapted for the show, as I've covered.

But a mask bonding to somebody's face is a trivial makeup job, and making a puppet look like it's actually a living thing was perfected ages ago by the Jim Henson Workshop.

Creating a demented theme park occupied by monsters? Well, we'll see if Canadian TV has the budget for that.

Here's hoping they haven't used up the majority of their budget on this season's "Awesome Ants."

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "Calling All Creeps"

After watching this episode, I can't help but wonder if R.L. Stine was inspired by the conspiracy theories about shapeshifting lizardmen infiltrating the highest levels of government.

The War of 1812 was an inside job! Lantern oil can't burn hot enough to melt the White House!

Recap: Goosebumps "Calling All Creeps"

In the Internet Age or whatever we're calling it now, it's much easier for groups of people with similar interests to find each other and meet up. So when it comes to scaly, monstrous Creeps trying to assemble and organize themselves these days, all they'd need is Facebook.

And some way of keeping away confused people who just like the Radiohead song.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "Say Cheese and Die"

Due to the presence of Ryan Gosling eating veal in this episode, the NewtCave would like to officially abstain from taking any stance on Mormons, veal, or People Magazine's 2011 choice for "Sexiest Man Alive."

However, the NewtCave would like to take an official stance on The Notebook: It wasn’t very good.

And now I'll do something beyond swiping at low-hanging fruit.

Recap: Goosebumps "Say Cheese and Die"

In the 19th century, photographers would tell their subjects to say "prunes." Since the whole point of saying "cheese" during a photo is that it forces your face into an approximation of a natural smile, this might seem odd to you. But smiling wasn't what people were expected to do in photos; people were supposed to stay stoic and serious in photos to reinforce how classy and noble they are, an idea held over from when people would pay through the nose to have themselves painted as a symbol of wealth.

So saying "prunes" would keep your mouth small and stoic, and your expression would look more like an actor's professional headshot than a modern portrait.

Of course, it depends on the actor in question.
It's a good thing for R.L. Stine that "cheese" caught on.
Otherwise, people would probably confuse "Say Prunes and Die" with "An Old Story."

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "Bad Hare Day"

So before I actually review this episode, I need to provide a little background on the subgenre of “Real Magic Magician” stories. So I might as well start this spiel with a bit of personal history.

When I was a little kid, my first dream job was to become a magician.

And why wouldn't I want to be a magician? I mean, does anybody not like stage magic?

I mean, sure, it’s fun to make fun of David Copperfield’s billowy shirts and Criss Angel’s… everything, but who doesn’t like watching them work? Sure, some of them go a little overboard with the presentation, but magic’s always been a showy form of entertainment. And at its core, stage magic has always had a spirit of fun. It’s never about trying to con you (except for the conmen who use sleight-of-hand, but you know what I mean), it’s about putting on a show for the audience. Trying to make you wonder how they did what they did. Because they’re not telling.

You know the old phrase "A magician never reveals his secrets"? There's a lot of magician history tied into that saying.

Recap: Goosebumps "Bad Hare Day"

Because R.L. Stine already used up the chance to call it "My Hare-iest Adventure." So it was either "Bad Hare Day" or "Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow." Because rabbits naturally lend themselves to puns. I mean, look at the titles of classic Bugs Bunny cartoons.

"All This and Carrot Stew"

"The Hare-Brained Hypnotist"

"Tortoise Wins by a Hare"

"Hare Force"

"Hare Tonic"

"Hare Remover"

"Hare Do"

I could go on and on, but you probably don't carrot all, so let's get started with the episode.

Heh. Couldn't resist.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "Go Eat Worms"

You know, if you're looking for footage of somebody eating worms (Hey, it's the internet, people have looked for weirder stuff), might I suggest How to Eat Fried Worms? I've never seen it, but I can only assume from the title that it has more worm eating than this episode.

Heck, the DVD menu has more worm-eating than the actual episode.

Badly-composited, computer generated worms, but at least there's more than one of them en route to that kid's mouth.

Recap: Goosebumps "Go Eat Worms"

I actually know this story best as the one Goosebumps book we actually had in my house when I was growing up. I think it belonged to my uncle, but I could be wrong.

It always just kind of sat there on the end table. Waiting.

And when I finally read it... it was just about the most boring thing I'd ever read. The plot took forever to get going and it ended quickly and anticlimactically.

So I'm going to look at this episode as a bit of a do-over. The writers aren't afraid to change things about the books for the TV adaptation... so I'm wondering if maybe they might actually improve this story?

Plenty of Tolkien/Harry Potter fans are laughing at me for thinking that an adaptation might be better than the original.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Monday, October 17, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "My Hairiest Adventure"

I just realized that this is the second puberty episode I’ve covered on this blog. And I also just realized that the first puberty episode I covered gives me the best possible gif to summarize this episode with.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Recap: Goosebumps "My Hairiest Adventure"

Sound off in the comments, has anyone actually ever use "hairy" as a synonym for "difficult"? Is that a thing real people have ever said in the history of ever? I have literally never heard another human being use that word without it being scripted.

According to the internet, it's either an army term referring to a situation that makes your hairs stand on end or something having to do with ill-bred horses.

But the title of this R.L. Stine classic takes the metaphor and uses it in a literal sense. Which is... clever...? Maybe?

I would have gone with "The Hound and the Furry," myself.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "An Old Story"

You know, this episode does have a good lesson.

You dang kids these days with your FaceTubes and TweetVines are gonna get old faster than you think.

The true horror of this episode.

Recap: Goosebumps "An Old Story"

Can I just mention the description of this episode on Netflix?

"Tom and his younger brother are being taken care of by their weird Aunt Dahlia. Her 'prize prune cookies' are delicious but strange like her."

Now, if they had put a comma after "delicious," that would imply that while the cookies are delicious but strange, Aunt Dahlia is merely strange. But the lack thereof implies that both adjectives apply to Aunt Dahlia.

I don't want to know why Aunt Dahlia is being described as "delicious but strange." But it looks like we're going to find out.

Now, when you say "old," episode, are we talking actually old, or how kids describe the music I grew up with?

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Review: Goosebumps "Return of the Mummy"

I bet Gabe can't wait to go back to school and tell all his friends about this little adventure. You know, swap stories about ancient Egyptian religious rituals. That’s what kids talk about at the lunch tables, right?

"Did you summon Nepthys? It only counts if you summoned Nepthys."